Results of the Final Day of Radiation; The Power of a Survivor

After 34 treatments, one every day for the past 6 and 1/2 weeks this was my last day. The day didn't necessarily feel any different starting off or on my way to treatment. Not much was different once I arrived at the clinic, although I was beginning to feel some excited energy.

I changed into my gown, laid on the table and assumed the position as I had 33 times before. Once on the table I again, just as every other time, entered my zone. I was aware that Will was in the room taking photos to document this important part of my journey and I heard what to me were muffled voices between him and the technicians. They exited the room, the door closed, and my final dose of radiation began.

It was then, within those very seconds that the significance of this particular moment sank in and as it did, my tears began to flow. It was a sweet surrender. My treatments, my actual treatments for this cancer were over and I could now begin to rebuild and restrengthen my body and reclaim a big portion of my life.

My tears were unlike any I had shed before, but then again, everything about this journey has been a new experience and has touched the depths of my soul.

Within minutes my final radiation treatment was over.  Over!  But not my tears of joy and relief.

It's a tradition within Radiation Oncology to "ring the bell" when treatment is finally completed.   I walked up front to Jo's desk and vigorously rang the bell.   I hugged the staff that I had come to know and I cried even more.

As we drove home I knew that I wanted to capture everything about every ounce of emotion that was surging through my mind and body.   Words can not adequately express how I felt but I felt so strong, so powerful, and invincible.  Not immortal, but invincible, and that's what really matters.  I realized that day, within those moments, the accumulation of each and every moment leading up to that one, that I can do anything.  I can accomplish any task set before me, I can obtain any goal , and I can overcome any adversity that lay ahead of me. For the first time since my diagnosis, I felt the power of being a survivor.

When I got home, still feeling that power surging within me, I breathed into a decorative bottle and corked it, capturing the essence of the moment. Should I ever forget, get weak, disheartened or simply need a power boost, I will forever have that bottle.